Skip to content

Ask Ellie: Assist pal who got here out, shared his emotions for you

One in every of my closest associates from highschool simply instructed me that he likes me greater than as a pal. I am flattered, a little bit, however extra confused as he by no means talked about his sexual orientation earlier than this.

Expensive Lisi: I am a man in my early 20s, simply beginning a graduate program at college. One in every of my closest associates from highschool simply instructed me that he likes me greater than as a pal. I am flattered, a little bit, however extra confused as he by no means talked about his sexual orientation earlier than this.

Now I am questioning whether or not or not we actually had been such good associates, or has he all the time appreciated me, and simply been hanging out with me to see if I appreciated him? Additionally, he is aware of completely effectively that I am not into guys.

I do not know the best way to transfer ahead right here.

Freaky Friendship

Although our society has come leaps and bounds when it comes to acceptance, many younger individuals nonetheless have a tough time grappling with whom they’re and are not snug labeling themselves.

Your pal might haven’t absolutely understood his emotions when he first felt them. He might have been confused and uncertain what to say to you. Since, as you say, he is aware of you are not into guys, you need to be impressed together with his bravery and braveness.

He is been a detailed pal for greater than 5 years. Be as courageous as he, and speak to him. Get all of it out within the open after which take pleasure in your sturdy friendship. He’ll recognize you.

Expensive Lisi: My daughter and her husband have simply determined to separate. I am devastated. They’ve 18-month-old twins who’re an absolute delight. I am fortunate to dwell shut by, and I am retired, so I spend plenty of time with them.

Each dad and mom went again to work full time six months in the past, so that they recognize the assistance particularly for the reason that infants are lively. I get alongside effectively with my son-in-law. He is an exquisite man and an ideal father.

However I am so fearful for these infants who will now develop up going backwards and forwards from mother and pa, and selfishly, I am fearful I will get much less time with them. How do I help my daughter and assist her via these subsequent tough phases?

Goo-Goo Grandma

These infants are fortunate to have an ideal dad, as you’ve got described, your daughter and your self, all searching for his or her greatest pursuits. And that is the important thing—their greatest pursuits.

However you need to take a step again and let the couple determine issues out for themselves.

FEEDBACK concerning the lady with dietary points invited out (Oct. 24):

reader — “After I noticed the headline for this challenge in your column, I learn on hoping to search out some new methods since I’ve been coping with this fairly some time.

“I am celiac and still have irritable bowel syndrome which is well triggered by meals or herbs and spices that can set off bouts of diarrhea with only a dot of the offending substance. If this occurs, I’ll instantly be taking up your rest room for the higher a part of an hour.

“I’ve tried the ‘I will simply deliver one thing protected for myself’ and the ever widespread ‘Let me contribute one thing for the principle course or dessert.’

“Invariably the hostess will say, ‘Oh no. Simply let me know what you’ll be able to’t eat and I will be cautious.’ I’ve needed to depart a New 12 months’s Eve feast when the hostess introduced out her particular lasagna from her. She instructed me she did not add any basil, my allergen. However the can of tomato sauce she used already had basil, merely listed as herbs and spices on the label. Most producers additionally just do that.”

Lisi – It is positively not straightforward to dwell with any sort of gastro illness, sickness, situation or allergy. I can not converse for everybody, however I might hazard to say that the majority hostesses do their greatest to accommodate. Nobody likes a sick dinner visitor.

FEEDBACK concerning the rescue canine who does not like her new proprietor (Oct. 26):

reader — “We lately adopted our fourth rescue, and he or she appeared fairly terrified of our tall grownup son. Though he was mild together with her, she would not let him get close to her. He gave her plenty of treats, made her meals, spoke to her in a delicate tone and performed together with her, with out making an attempt to get shut.

“Now she lets him pet her, and he or she approaches him to play chase however nonetheless backs away a bit when he approaches.

“I believe that the meals the author provides her canine ought to sit there versus another person feeding her. She’ll eat when she’s hungry.

“By way of not listening, a brand new canine may be fairly hit or miss in that division. Additionally, a rescue canine usually demonstrates belief and attachment to at least one individual at first. All of it simply takes time, with persistence and love as you identified.”

Ellie Tesher and Lisi Tesher are recommendation columnists for the Star and based mostly in Toronto. Ship your relationship questions by way of electronic mail: ellie@thestar.ca.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *